A Different Way (3)

Regarding how we tackle sleep: I have tried everything with Chris, from letting him cry it out to the 'five minutes method' to I don't know what. Each method worked for a little while to then stop after two weeks or a month. In the end, we simply accepted that he sleeps as he does/. That he needs us and that we are also mother and father during the night. He has no ON/OFF button. We also stick to this now with the youngest two.

Update January 2009: our kids are now a few years older - Isa is six now - and they have all become good, confident sleepers. Isa is our greatest sleepyhead. She also has a great gift to sleep anywhere, in any position ...

A Different Way (2)

Chris has always really needed us to be there when going to sleep. He wanted us to stay with him and hold his hand. Then he dozed off quietly. He used to wake up regularly at night and then we either joined him in his bed (if our bed was already crowded with the younger ones) or took him to our bed. Shortly before he turned 4, he started to sleep through the night all by himself. Going to sleep alone was about half a year later. Now he is a very regular sleeper: goes to bed at half past seven and wakes up at seven in the morning.

Rick, nearly 4 years old, does not sleep through the night yet. He does not go to sleep by himself but falls asleep on the sofa downstairs. This has become a habit due to his medical problems. On most nights, he wakes up at least once. He then continues the night in our bed. Sometimes he wakes up once more after that and needs us for a few moments.

Isa, nearly 2 years old now, does not sleep through the night either (of course). She wakes up regularly, about 4 or 5 times a night. She starts in her own bed and then continues in our bed. Isa feeds with me and then quickly sleeps again. She doesn't fall asleep by herself but always while feeding. This works the same at naptime.

Both Chris and Isa do not need a lot of sleep and stopped napping quite young. Isa does a nap from time to time but never longer than half an hour.

A Different Way (1)

My personal top tip: accept that your children do not necessarily sleep like you want them to. Never mind the clock, and at any time soothe them when they cry and listen to them when they wake up. Kids do not understand why they must be sleeping all alone in this scary dark room while he's parents are sleeping safely together.

Also, they do not understand why you do not want to be there for them at night. If you listen to them at night, comfort and understand them (we take the kids to our bed when they wake up) then they will grow up knowing that you will always be there for them. That gives them a strong feeling of being safe and that is what young children need.

In my experience, each child will start sleeping through the night all by itself at a certain point. Mine are a bit late with that (around the age of four).

Our sleep stories so far then. I am talking about my kids when aged between 0 and 4 years old.

A different way!

A while ago I was contacted by a mother who had a different story to tell. She was of the view that you should not interfere with children's sleep routines, no matter how irregular these may be, as they are natural and will sooner or later develop into a more established routine. Here's her story.

Hi, my name is Jenny. At the time of this writing, my kids are Chris (5 y), Rick (nearly 4 y) and Isa (nearly 2).

Let me try and describe my children briefly. Chris is usually rather quiet but he has his very active moments. He is a very smart kid, that wants and can do a lot (we are talking to the school about possibly skipping a year).

Rick is a busy little 'clown'. He’s always being silly and can show a real temper. He has some medical issues for which we are arranging and obtaining medical help. Rick is a very social child.

Isa, our youngest, seems to be a combination of her two brothers. She is just as smart and quick as her oldest brother Chris. She is very social as well and also has a real temper. In general she’s a rather calm and relaxed child.

Before I tell you my story, I thought you should know that I am not in favour of crying at bedtime.

Update

Hi again

Sorry I've been a bit quiet on this blog, been on holidays with some friends, we went to the beach and shopping and dining out and dancing ... it was great, just like old times. I'll post some more baby sleep stuff soon!

Bye for now

Charlene

Did you like this story?

Did you like this story? I think if you analyze it closely there are some important lessons in here. Especially the one about the baby being overtired. Not everyone likes the method that these parents used but the underlying principle is that the baby needs to learn to put itself to sleep, and being overtired doesn't help that. So first things first - let's get the child into some sort of routine that prevents it from becoming overtired. Once we've got that working, we need to train the baby to fall asleep on its own. There are many ways we can train the child, and the one followed by these parents is just one of them. Have a look here for more!
Bye for now

Ever Changing Sleep Patterns - 6

This method also helped them more recently when at 13 months Sandra had begun weaning her from breast milk. She would be tucked in at night after a cup of warm milk and she instantly knew it means she should sleep now! Business is thriving and now that the baby can walk and eats about everything, the energy seems to be doubled! The parents however always make sure not to allow her to get over tired or stimulated before her bed time.

 

An overtired baby contrary to belief does not sleep well and is cranky and irritable. Make sure a baby naps sufficiently through the day and is disciplined with a structure. Though not rigidly followed, an everyday schedule is important to provide the child with security and predictability. While following the 'cold turkey' method always be extra cautious to follow any changes in the pitch or tone of the baby to make sure he is not in trouble; babies who have just begun to pull up may not be able to sit or lie down on their own, tuck them in again and walk out.